Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Jesse

Jesse- a forever friend.


 
Three weeks ago my friend Jesse went home to be in the presence of Jesus, his Saviour and Redeemer. I miss him and find it hard to believe that we won't hang out again, he won't be there when friends gather for games, we won't drink Rooibos tea together, we won't drive in his truck, or go for walks, listen to Jason Upton music together or do random things together like go to Construction Shows and operate our own excavators (!!) but I know that those memories are forever kept in my heart. I will forever remember the memories Jesse and I share together.


As I have thought of Jesse and reflected on our time together, I realized how for the time God put him in my life, I learned so much from him. I went back and re read some old entries I had made on my blog about Jess. Take a look: He had an eye for design and loved creating beautiful things with his work in Landscaping, he desired to grow in his relationship with Jesus, he took moments to be quiet and reflect, he understood that it is in community where we flourish and when we are vulnerable with our struggles, we can lean on the body of Christ to bring us before the Father, he was an everyday guy who had hopes, dreams and brilliant ideas that he wanted to put into action. I always enjoyed hearing his business plans and the future direction he hoped to go with his business.


One of my favourite memories of all of Jess is when him and I were driving back to Abbotsford from Chilliwack and I was complaining because he was being silent (now he was often content to just sit silently and think to himself- he didn't need to be heard and didn't need to always speak to be having a good time). I said, "Jesse, you are wasting our time! We should be talking and getting to know eachother; you should be asking me questions to get to know me and I should be doing the same. This is the opportunity to get to know eachother!" After a moment's pause, he said, "Victoria, I don't have to talk to have a good time. It's ok to be quiet sometimes. Actually, there's something to be said about simply spending time with someone. There is great value in being together." I've taken that nugget of truth from Jesse- to enjoy spending time with another person, enjoying their company.  That was a special moment for me and I remember it like it was yesterday.

With Jesse, I did things I would never think to do on my own- like go to the Art Institute in Vancouver to see what courses they offered because he was interested in design classes. Who knew I would spend time in a garden becasue of Jess? Who knew I would get into playing badminton or drinking rooibos tea? Who knew I would attend an AA meeting to discover the struggles of addictions? Who knew that we would have birds eat trailmix from our hands when we were snowshoeing at Manning Park last winter? Who knew I would be invited to Bright Nights at Stanley Park with his family 3 Christmases ago? Or who knew that I would help him at the Home and Garden show at the Abbotsford Tradex? In all these things, my eyes were opened to new things. Jesse knew totally different things about the world than I do. He always said that I was smart, having gone to university and earning 2 degrees, but the truth is that we both brought different things to our friendship. He taught me something new each time I was with him.

He sent me this picture while he was away
I remember walking at Douglas Taylor Park in Abbotsford- my faovurite walking trail in Abbotsford. He got it! He saw the beauty that I see there as well!

From when Jess was up in Dawson Creek
One time, Jess told me that I knew him better than he knew himself- what a statement to say! Honestly, I don't think I could know him better than he knew himself, but I knew his habits and I knew his patterns. I could tell when he was doing well and I could also tell when he wasn't. I knew that he desired to overcome the addictions in his life. I truly believe that Jesse understood the message of grace that Jesus gives because every time he sinned, his desire was to go running back to God, rather than hiding or continuing in that destructive path.

Oh the things we do! I remember several times, secretly dropping encouraging notes and verses on his truck so that his day would start with something positive. Come to think of it, I remember going to the Peppinbrook development in Aldergrove where Jesse was working and dropping off banana bread for him! I remember having dinner at Rendevous for his birthday a few years ago and eagerly giving him my present... the book Oh the Places You'll Go by none other than Dr. Seuss. It was an intentional gift, trusting that the words in the book would resonate with him. It describe life's journey and it quite accurately describes what Jess faced in his life- such highs and such lows.

Here's an excerpt from the book: "

You'll look up and down streets. Look 'em over with care.
About some you will say, "I don't choose to go there."
With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet,
you're too smart to go down any not-so-good street.


And you may not find any
you'll want to go down.
In that case, of course,
you'll head straight out of town.


It's opener there
in the wide open air.

Out there things can happen
and frequently do
to people as brainy
and footsy as you.


And then things start to happen,
don't worry. Don't stew.
Just go right along.
You'll start happening too.


OH! THE PLACES YOU'LL GO!

You'll be on y our way up!
You'll be seeing great sights!
You'll join the high fliers
who soar to high heights.

 
I could keep quoting the book but that might be against copyright laws, lol, but I this relays what Jess lived- this depicts both the excitement and the struggles in his life.

Each time I hear the song "I lift my hands" by Chris Tomlin, I think of Jesse. This has often been my prayer for him. The chorus says, "I lift my hands to believe again, You are my refuge, You are my strength. As I pour out my heart These things, I remember. You are faithful, God, forever." I prayed this over Jesse often, especially when he was struggling.

In the midst of grieving I keep going back to the words that were spoken by Pastor Vic at Jesse's graveside service from 1 Corinthians 15, "Our earthly bodies are planted in the ground when we die, but they will be raised to live forever. 43 Our bodies are buried in brokenness, but they will be raised in glory. They are buried in weakness, but they will be raised in strength. 44 They are buried as natural human bodies, but they will be raised as spiritual bodies. For just as there are natural bodies, there are also spiritual bodies." This is Jesse's story.
 
I cherish many memories. I appreciate Jess in the truest sense and value the friendship we shared. I always believed in him and didn't give up on him.


Christmas 2012
 
Miss You, Jess. You are in the presence of Jesus, safe and held dearly.
Forever our memories will be cherished.
 
"My heart is confident in you, O God; my heart is confident" (Psalm 587: 7).